Sunday, April 25, 2010

Crazy times and crazier nurses

For some light hearted laughter, I thought I would share some of the crazy experiences I and others had during my 24 day stay at Florida Hospital South.

1. Did you know that no matter what time of night it is, most techs will come into your room and announce themselves, saying in a loud and pronounced voice, "My name is ____ and I am here to take your vitals! Let's start with your temp. Oh, look, your temp is ___ degrees, that's gooood! Now let's move on to your blood pressure. Oh, your blood pressure is ____! How wonderful. Well thank you very much and I'll see you again in a couple of hours." Then they fiddle with your monitors for a while and loudly leave the room the same way they came in.

2. Did you know that every single night, you are never alone, never asleep (truly), and never in a noiseless, dark atmosphere. You have your tech, nurse, garbage lady, cleaning lady, room air flow engineer, air conditioning man, food people, and many doctors all visiting your room almost every hour of the day and night. You sleep with one eye open always aware that someone is about to come in at any moment. And all machines in your room are liable and suspectable to start blinging or beeping at any given moment.

3. Did you know that sometimes the nurses would make an announcement to every room on the floor at all times and then would forget to turn off the speaker. So there were many nights when I would simply be crying out because I could hear everything the nurse in the office was saying sometimes for 15 minutes or more at sometimes 2:00 in the morning.

4. Once my door was opened and a nurse who was not mine was standing there. It was the coveted 2:30 am time and she was staring at my room sternly. I arose from my sleeping position just in time for her to say "You have too many chairs in your room". Needless to say, my response was one of confusion. "They were here before I was." Disatisfied with my response, this unknown sleep interupter responded, "You are not supposed to have this many chairs, I will have to remove some of them." My response was once again one of confusion. "Now?" I replied. She said no, but informed me all the same at this very important hour that I was not supposed to have as many chairs as I did and that I should know it. At this point she simply continued to glare and I decided no longer to pay attention. I will however let you know that in the morning, one of my chairs was missing. So some time later on in the night, this unknown nurse had stolen one of my chairs. I got it back, but it was humorous all the same, to have it happen in the first place.

5. And lastly, my well meaning friends at the beginning og my hospital stay had all decided to send me flowers. They were all lovely and brought great cheer to my gloomy view of gravel which was my companion for 4 days. However, when they moved me to the cancer ward, the flowers could not come and so the responsibility fell on my poor friend, Jessica R. to at 12:00 am find a wheel chair in order to wheel my flower shop to her car. You should know that she got lost many times and ended up in the back ghetto of the hospital. When she finally did make her way back, some how she even ended up on an elevator that didn't go to my floor. By the time she found me again, it was a miracle indeed, but needless to say that is one experience not easily forgotten.

Ok, I think that's it for now. Just some hospital humor to lighten things up. Sleep time now. Good night blog readers. LOL.


  1. Leah, I'm amazed that you keep your delightful sense of humor despite your circumstances. You never have too hard of a time making me chuckle. Love you, lady. <3

  2. O man, lol. Don't forget the janitor (the Mr. T look-alike) who I kept running into and asking directions from. Everytime he saw me he said, "Be Blessed!" or some variation of the sort. Those were some crazy times. It was nice to have some humor interspersed through that stressful period of waiting to find out what you were being diagnosed with. I think that was the same day we found out for sure you had cancer, so the LORD gave us some trials to make us laugh and lighten us up a bit. I wouldn't have traded that week sleeping in a hospital chair for the world though. That was a precious time I think back on because I was able to be there for my sister- which means even more to me now that I'm so far away. : (