I don't have a lot of strength. I'm really nauseous, light-headed and shaky, but I wanted to start writing. I have been in the hospital for 17 days. Jessica drove me here on April 1, 2010. They thought I had a clogged lymph node that would need to be drained. My neck was swollen and I was in pain. By the end of the night I was an in-patient and by the next day I was being checked for TB. Six days later the truth was told. I have Burkitt's Lymphoma-cancer.
Before I was in the hospital, I lived with my loving friends who I consider as close to me as three people can be. Jennifer and Preston have been my best friends since I got saved. I was with them before they got married, their maid-of-honor, there when they found out they were pregnant both times, and I lived with them for over a year in their home as their roommate, best friend, and auntie to the baby, Bella.
Before I was in the hospital, I went to UCF and I worked at Disney. Now I've had to medically withdraw from school and take medical leave from my job for chemotherapy.
Before I was in the hospital, I thought I had a 5-year plan. See my sister graduate from college in May, go to Guatemala in August, start LPN school in the spring, get a medical job, pay off my loans, and become a missionary full time in Guatemala.
But Christ is sovereign. King, Ruler, and Creator and His plan just happened to be longer and more extensive than the last 17 days or next 8 months. The Lord has decided that at this time I will not be anything, but His vessel, specially chosen to be used as a testimony and a witness in the hopeless, painful world of Cancer and Chemotherapy.
I am not angry, unhappy, bitter, and questioning His perfect judgement. In the words of Job, I humbly and fully believe "The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; Blessed be the name of the LORD" -Job 1:21.
He will use me in this for the gospel, my family, my friends, and my church. So that we will all be woken up, examined, questioning, and being sanctified in ways that we never thought possible before. And I pray not for healing or miracles in this trial, but simply that I would be as obedient on my last day of chemotherapy as I was on my first and would never forget my first love no matter how hard the trial becomes.
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My Sweet Leah,
ReplyDeleteI know the Lord will use this trial mightily for His glory and you have been, are and will be a beautiful example of a godly woman who wants nothing more than what her Lord wants for her. It's so encouraging to see you trust in the Lord and be at peace with what He has decided to do in your life. I love you so much and am honored to be your best friend and close sister in Christ. We miss you very much at home.... Big hugs from your family away from your family;)
This is an amazing post, Leah. Thanks for sharing. We are praying for you and thinking about you daily! We miss you and love you very much.
ReplyDeleteYou are such an encouragement to me Leah; I can truly say that I am thankful for you! I love you, my sister! =)
ReplyDelete--Nicole S.
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ReplyDeleteHi Leah! I'm so amazed at the courage you are showing during this most difficult of times. Thank you for your amazing example of what it's like to "count it all joy when you fall into various trials knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." God Bless You my dear sister in Christ. Love you. Marian
ReplyDeletePS: I accidentally posted the comment above under Mary Jo's account and deleted it. Just in case you were wandering why "Mary Jo had deleted a post."
Leah.. You are a Bold witness for Christ, I have been praying for you everynight and will continue to pray..when you are weak he is strong, Thank-you for your faithfulness and unwavering commitment to the king of kings, you will be rewarded, and those rewards will never compare to anything is this life. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteLeah, Your blog is amazing and so are you sister!
ReplyDeleteYour church family misses you and we are all praying for you and thinking of you.
Joshua 1:9
"Be strong and of good courage;do not be afraid,nor be dismayed,for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
God Bless You!
Lachelle B