Wednesday, April 21, 2010

So Grateful!

I write this entry with tears in my eyes. I am so grateful to the Lord, its almost beyond words. I've vomited up everything I ate today and no matter how much medication they give me I have a headache that won't go away. But, I hada visit from a friend today who told me how my cancer has changed her life. And I've been reading the journal entries that my women's group wrote me when they visited me last week and it makes me cry. I'm so thankful for cancer. I've seen how the Lord uses my illness daily to evangelize, to convict me, to sanctify me, and to encourage others and I know that it wasn't possible in any other way to be brought to this kind of relationship with the Lord. It has opened my eyes and the eyes of all those who are in contact with me. My cancer is a great gift.

Today for women's group, I was on speaker phone so I could be part of the lesson. That was huge for me to be able to be there. My scripture memory this week was Philippians 3:3-9. It was the most that I've ever memorized at one time for group and I did it from the hospital. The scripture was so alive to me. I don't think I can relate to Paul in the extent of his sufferings, but I don't think it's wrong to apply those scriptures to myself. Although, in some ways, it's not true. I have not suffered the loss of all things. Only some things. But I am gaining "the excellence of the knowledge of the glory of Christ Jesus, my Lord".

Praise be to my holy and precious Lord. I love Christ so much and I know that it is because of His Spirit that I have been spared that guilt of sin in this trial. I deserve no praise, the glory belongs to Him alone. And I am so thankful to be part of Cornerstone Church. Without my body of believers I truly would be in suffering.

I think that's it for now. I'm going to read some more before they give me meds that will put me out for the night. I'm also going to try to eat again. It will probably end up in the bucket, but at least it will taste good going down-LOL.

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